Today’s headline is pretty self explanatory but in case you didn’t get it I will explain what this post is about.

I have always felt that the work opportunities for those who disclose the fact they have been within the care system are much lower than those who have led a normal family life. Whilst it can be demonstrated that a lot of these children have participated in undesirable activities and behaviours one must take into account the history they have experienced that others haven’t. In my opinion it is these experiences and the mistakes that children in care have made that make them the best workers. It makes them resilient, it makes them hardworking and dedicated to any position which they enjoy and yet hardly any of them end up in full time work causing them to slip back into old behaviours.

I once met a child in care who told me they wanted to be a Teacher when they grew up. Now almost everyone I knew was sceptical about this actually happening but they entertained the idea anyway, the child wasn’t the brightest but he was a hard worker but no-one seemed to recognise this trait over his academic ability. It just so happened that he is now studying at university in his second year of teacher training and is all set to be leaving with a brilliant qualification and soon a full time teaching position. Now to everyone who doubted him I ask why you even questioned his ambition in the first place. Some of them would probably reply that it was because he wasn’t the brightest and it just didn’t seem possible with his behaviour but for me this is no excuse as no-one can ever predict the long term achievement of someone no matter how dire their shorter term prospect seem. It just isn’t feasible.

I know for a fact that if employers took just a chance on a vast majority of the people that have been in care then they would be pleasantly surprised. These people are probably the hardest working, most creative and dedicated individuals I have ever met and they could easily take a company to new heights if given the chance to do so.

Please share this message so it can have some sort of effect on those in charge of giving young people a chance to work…

Barnaby.

Today’s post is a new twist in my series and relates to my experiences of bullying whilst being within the care system. As a looked after child it can be quite a challenge to fit in with a social circle and there always comes that time where you have to disclose your home life to your friends. Sometimes this can be a positive move with the disclosure actually bringing you closer together but other times it can cause a total separation and result in events such as playground bullying. I have experienced this on a number of occasions and I have regularly found myself in the headteachers office in a mediation session with someone who had been repeatedly calling me names due to my history. Luckily for me I still had family only a phone call away but it still felt horribly isolating to be subject to such words and occasional physical violence.

As I grew up I found this all disappeared (luckily) and I did in actual fact become friends with the person who bullied me leading to a complete turn around in his behaviour towards others. It was one day two years ago that he came to me and explained his awful history that made my insides churn with empathy for him. I could only imagine what it must’ve felt like for him and whilst it didn’t condone his actions it certainly made it more understandable. I did in fact publish a poem during anti-bullying week the same year describing the reasons that people bully. I would like to share this with you now to give you some insight into a world that is rarely publicised…

The Bully

My bruises are hidden and my mind is a mist

When I feel threatened out comes my fist
My home is a hell; my future so bleak
Cared for I’m not so attention I seek

The smells of this world are damp and so dark.

My only palace is the swings in the park
Most avoid me and I wish he would too
I would like to speak out but would it seem true?

I listen for help; from the crack in my wall
But no-one comes; they know nothing at all
I oppress others as a release of my hate
I am alone and there is no escape

Everyone else has a hand to hold
This world is so dark, so sad and so cold
Why do I have to live with anger and strife?
I am a bully and this is my life…

You see, there is a person behind the wall of anger and many people forget that…understandably so as bullying cannot and should not be condoned. I often wonder whether or not it is more likely for someone in care to be bullied or to bully themselves but I haven’t as of yet found an answer to this question. I can only describe my own experiences and this is why I have written today’s post as a way of bring attention not only to victims of bullying but the bullies themselves who are most of the time victims in their own right.

 

Thank you and remember to share.

Barnaby.

 

Some people are probably confused by the choice title I have used for this post that comes a day later than usual as my internet crashed. The reason I have chosen this famous line from an Elton John classic is due to the sentimental meaning it has to me in two areas of my life. The first could be easily guessed, it has relation to my family as it was a song that my father (who is still alive may I just mention) played in the car on a number of occasions when I still lived at home. He introduced me to a number of Elton classics but this one was always my favourite and probably because I attached a separate meaning to it regarding my history as a ballet dancer when I was 10. I was quite a dancer according to those who watched me and my technique came naturally.

 

You see, I loved my dancing as it gave me purpose; it defined me as a person and gave me confidence in being myself. I shared this with my late grandmother to whom I was very close. She supported me in almost every event I danced in (aside from those that were too far for her to drive too) and she had complete faith that I could succeed in this hobby. In fact everyone had faith in this and it seemed pretty much set in stone that ballet would be my future career until my behaviour forced me to move to a far away boarding school where I put on the pounds, leading me to lose my talent. I have always put this occurrence down as one of the few reasons I am where I find myself today, I lost something I held dear to me and thus fell deep down into the dark waters of depression and eventual isolation. Some of you who have read on this far are probably what this post has to do with my messages regarding the care system and inequality whereas to me it is pretty obvious. Regardless of what they might’ve done to enter or whilst within the care system children under the local authority’s care are not bad people. They each have a history, a lot of them traumatised by their experiences and thus suffering through poor or even criminal behaviour themselves whilst receiving little in the way of help to reform. I have a history of fantastic future prospects which were taken from me thus contributing to my current position but luckily for me I still have people standing by me, willing to not judge me. Unfortunately a lot of those in my position do not have this luxury and instead are isolated for their historic difficulties, they want to change but have no way of doing so. It is these people that need the help as they could even be the next CEO of a major international business or the MP your constituency has been awaiting, it is just they cannot fulfil their potential whilst they are locked behind these iron bars that only ourselves have the key for. We need to help them help each other to move forward and become better than they are now. They are worth it so why aren’t we doing this already?

 

Remember to share this post so that we can begin to help these unfortunate souls.

Barnaby.

Well another day past and another post written. This time I have decided to shift my focus slightly without detracting from my overall message regarding the UK care system and so today’s (rather late) discussion surrounds a recent application of mine to McDonald’s.

It so happened that I was needing additional funds to help me survive as the JSA money I was receiving from social services was just not enough to live off of and so I decided to apply to almost every basic job that was going in the surrounding area. This eventually led me to the McDonald’s website whereabouts I found a convenient position in a local restaurant that I felt I could fill comfortably. As an individual my GCSE grades had been very high and so I was confident in being able to apply for such a simplistic role named only as ‘Crew Member’. Once I had progressed through the first fifteen minutes of creating an account for the website I finally faced the first proper hurdle and was quite taken aback to find that there was a series of scenario based questions I was required to answer to be able to progress any further.

I was literally laughing inside. How on earth could this be any more complicated than it needed to be? But as requested of me I began to fill in the questionnaire that was about ten sections long but looked at first glance as if it could take the best part of half an hour. Unfortunately my predictions were correct and with appropriate effort applied I had finished the ‘test’ as it seemed dead on the passing of a half hour. Once I then clicked continue I was sure that there would be nothing more for me to do except upload my prepared CV, but no, instead I was greeted with a CV builder on the website and no other option but to use this so that I could progress forward. This actually made me quite angry as if felt as though all the effort I had already used in creating a CV was not needed as I was only going to have to type it out again onto the template before me but with no other options I decided to continue and so I did as I was instructed and began to type what I had already written.

Another fifteen minutes passed and I finally completed (with speed typing) the template that was about four pages long, a ridiculous length for a CV that was probably going to be used by youngsters with minimal experience and so probably had no need for so much space. It wasn’t as if we were applying for a directing role in the company itself was it?

So by this point I had spent a long, painful hour completing the assessment and CV for sending off and this time I had finally reached the end. Clicking send felt like an achievement in itself, as if getting a job was actually more difficult than retaining that same position. Once logged out I began to reflect on the process until a thought came into my mind regarding those that might’ve applied prior to me and who were perhaps unsuccessful due to poor digital communication skills. I though and pondered over this until I began to paint a clearer picture of those that companies such as McDonald’s were probably turning away on a daily basis. People such as that nice girl next door who hasn’t the foggiest about higher maths but has the best interpersonal skills anyone could possess and was very much suited to a customer based role behind a till. Instead these people, due to their abilities in other areas aside from form filling, were being turned down when they could probably fulfil the role better than many current employees who managed to blag their way into the job through carefully written sentences and a well rehearsed interview. All of this for a fast food restaurant that pays minimum wage?

It was at this point that I turned my attention to those in care. Those who were having another nail hammered into their coffin by society as they were not provided with the correct skills to fulfil such trying tasks such as the McDonald’s questionnaire that I had to fill out. It was these people who could probably fill the position even better than I that were being given little or no chance to succeed and were thus ending up on the streets or in gangs due to a lack of income. It was these people who needed the job I was applying for as they might never otherwise begin to climb the ladder of life, rung by rung, from the bottom where they found themselves.

I would like to see a reform, an up-haul if you will, in the rigid testing prior an interview for basic jobs such as McDonald’s. This is disallowing many perfectly capable candidates such as some of my friends in the care system from earning a solid wage and beginning to get some sort of certainty in their otherwise uncertain life. I want to see this happen not only for the welfare of this people but for their children and many generations after them.

Remember to repost and  like for this message to be shared,

Thanks,

Barnaby.

 

 

 

 

When I thought about writing this blog post I was quite reluctant to follow through my idea of questioning the very foundations that Christmas day tradition is built around but after careful consideration I decided that I would kick myself unless this was posted.

So as I am sure those of you that read post number 1 are aware I am a section 20 child under the local authorities care as agreed mutually between them and my parents. It so happens that this decision was made a couple of days after Christmas day 2014 (which I spent at home with my family) and thus the time of year is a difficult one for myself and those within family circle. Even though this memory places to some extent a strain on our relationships we have managed (so far) to spend Christmas with each other at some point across the holiday period therefore not detracting from the so seeming eleventh commandment that tells us that Christmas is a family time and nothing should come before this time of giving and love. Of course I haven’t really ever given a second thought to those who don’t have this luxury, not even after I moved into 52 week care, but before those of you reading click away from this page due to my ‘selfish nature’ I want you to ask yourselves if you really paid much attention to the fact that many children and adults spend Christmas day alone when you were sitting down to carve the turkey on the 25th.

The chance are in my opinion that you didn’t. There is obviously going to be a proportion of you who did, who maybe were one of the unlucky group that spend the day in isolation but let me tell you that unfortunately you are the minority. The truth is that the majority again came first this festive period as they all had at least one person standing by them to hold their hand and sing carols whilst chomping on roasted potatoes with the silver fork that grandma gave them as a housewarming gift. I was fortunate enough in some respect to be graced with having family at Christmas but for the first time this year I reacted differently due to something my mother sent me by text following a series of conversations we had regarding the antics related to the Christmas festivities. In this text my mother informed me that she was going to work in a homeless shelter next year for Christmas day, perhaps serving food to someone with nothing or giving them some new clothes and somewhere warm to sleep. I was quite taken aback by this gesture, I was proud to be the son of such a selfless woman who was prepared to break the expectations of the majority to help the few that have it hard at Christmas. But then I started to look back yesterday at my post regarding the educational opportunities for those in care and the massive proportion of those that are homeless that were once part of the care system and I had an epiphany.

What would it be like if Christmas didn’t exist?

Well we might not get any presents but that is pretty much the worst thing that could happen. There would be no more playground bullying towards the sad ten year old girl who still believes in Father Christmas, there would be seldom an occasion where a loss of a family member to the hand of the reaper would be magnified by the sentimental period that it fell within as this would no longer exist. There would be no more mad rushes to the shops to create the perfect day and there would be no more homeless individuals sitting on the street envious and angry at those that walk past them holding an extortionate amount of shopping (with still more to buy), angry at the money that these people must possess to buy so much stuff. Of course this isn’t the case for everyone, I am simply comparing the worst and best cases but the people in between still hold on to one thing at this time of year and that is how important family is during Christmas.

Well I want to challenge this. Christmas shouldn’t just be what we have made it, a time for keeping those closest to us closer than we do all year round, it should be a time for everyone, regardless of their relationship to each other unites to fix some of the problems that we create on a daily basis for ourselves. Problems such as drug addicted homeless people or suicidal individuals who just find this time too depressing. Problems such as the alarmingly high number of Samaritan calls during Christmas or the unfortunate number of those children in care who cannot spend Christmas with family  which is apparently the way it should be spent. Christmas has been made too bigger thing and it is time we took a step back and thought about what is reasonable as a celebration and what is now becoming an escalating problem.

Thank you and remember to repost so that this message can be spread.

Barnaby.